JustRunJustLiveJustBe

Between all the busy-ness and business of today, I got to spend a couple hours outside. Everyone keeps posting all these Spring images everywhere so I thought I’d do the same. If not in attempt to savor the season then at least to show off.

This tree is one of the main reasons I bought my house. It’s this beautiful about three weeks out of the year and I can see it from the window. Otherwise, it’s a mess and not very attractive for the other 49 weeks. You see what I base decisions on now, huh?

The tulips are holding on for a few more days.

And finally, Colorado’s attempt at a Palm tree.

I would so not make it if I had to live in the city.

I was standing in the women’s restroom today adjusting my belt in front of the mirror. This woman I don’t know started chatting with me. I really thought nothing of it.

Until she said this:
(I have to mention this woman is Chinese and speaks with a somewhat heavy accent. It makes it easier to imagine just how adorable her comment was.)

“Why are you looking at yourself in the mirror like that? Don’t be so critical.”

“Oh, I wasn’t. I’m just adjusting my belt.”

“Noooo. I can tell you were looking at yourself in a bad way. Don’t do that. I would kill for your body. You look so great.”

“Huh?” The only reply I could come up with for this tiny little woman.

“You have a wonderful figure. You should show it off.”

“Oh, thank you.”

At least I’ve learned how to say thank you for a compliment. What I really wanted to say was “Oh my God, I love you. You’re my new favorite person on Earth. Can I buy you things? What do you want? Anything, promise!”

“You know what I always liked about you?”

“What’s that?”

“That I could count on you in any situation. I could bring you anywhere and introduce you to anyone and I knew you could handle yourself.”

“Yeah.”

“I knew I didn’t have to worry about you saying or doing something that would compromise me or embarrass me. I never worried.”

He called me. A blast from the past. Except less blast. I’m not sure why he called, really. He used the excuse of “just wanted to say hi” but that just seems fake. Does anyone seriously just want to say hi? I don’t. If I’m curious, I’m curious. Just say it.

But no. Instead we talk for twenty minutes about nothing only for the conversation to lead to us. What once was. Apparently, there are things he misses. Things that he liked. I can’t say I’m completely shocked, there are things I miss too. So I reminded him.

“That’s good. But that wasn’t all there was to it, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. But it was just so easy, wasn’t it?”

“What? Bringing me places?”

“Just going places together. I didn’t have to hold your hand… you know I’m not a hand-holder.”

“I know.” And then it hit me. “You’re having a problem with someone you’re dating, aren’t you?”

“Well…”

“Well nothing. You’re dating a girl who you makes you worry about being embarrassed or humiliated by something she says. You’re afraid you can’t leave her to her own devices for fear of your own ego.”

“Woah, that’s harsh.”

“Yeah, but is it true?”

“It’s just different, you know?”

“Yeah, I do know. Listen, you have to tell her. Telling me is doing nothing but annoying me. And if I remember right, this is not a new problem. You never confront the person you’re having the problem with. You always go elsewhere.”

“What?”

“Think about it.”

So we spent the next ten minutes in a telephone counseling session going over it before saying goodbye.

“You were always right,” he said.

“Not always.”

“Well you were always right about me.”

Some things happen to take you back and remind you of what once was. Some things happen to simply serve as a reminder of just how far you’ve come.

Public speaking is the number one fear of people in this country. We’re more scared of this than death, snakes, being burglarized or even mugged. In fact, once a student in one of my speech classes actually used the excuse of getting mugged in order to delay his speech. There really was never a way of verifying whether or not he was actually mugged but I will tell you this, if he was sweating and stuttering half as much before being mugged as he was during his speech, no one would have bothered him.

I cannot identify with this fear. I’ve never really had a problem getting up in front of people to talk. Even when I have to wing it, it’s no big deal. Sure, it’s taken a while and a lot of practice in order for me to feel comfortable in front of a crowd of strangers but even before I was comfortable, I’ve never really been afraid. Today it’s one of my favorite things to do. Maybe I’m missing something or maybe I’m crazy, I don’t know.

I know this isn’t normal. I know most people have to really work at getting up just the nerve it takes to stand up, much less use technique and aids to involve your audience. There is a lot of advice on how to do this. People will tell you to use handouts or ask questions or have a gimmick but the truth is, none of this will really make you better. It will get you through the act of speaking and, hopefully, give your audience something to look at but it won’t make you better. I have seen just about every technique possible over the years: tossing food into the audience, calling people up on stage, doing a headstand in the middle of a speech and laying on the floor. Though these things get attention, they don’t really get the job done if the person using the technique doesn’t want to be there.

A lot of us have seen good speakers, I have no doubt. Even more though, we’ve seen bad ones. Two weeks ago, in fact, I sat through an hour presentation done by a man that could make millions as a hypnotist. Unfortunately, he doesn’t realize this and is stuck making only thousands as an auditor. As he droned on and on about numbers and rules I thought “doesn’t he know this is boring?” Probably not because it’s probably not boring to him. But that doesn’t make him good or his material interesting. That’s what a lot of people miss when they’re speaking in front of people, the audience has a different perspective. You can’t just tell them information, you have to sell it to them. If the material is dry, say so. Acknowledge the obvious and the audience will respond.

This brings me to the reason for this entire post. Last night I had to give a presentation that I’d been preparing for over the last couple of weeks. I was presenting something that was both new and complicated for the audience. I had to do it in a way that didn’t intimidate anyone and yet still armed them with the information they would need when they walked out of the room. In addition to that, I had to sell them on the idea in the first place. I was prepared. But so were they.

Five minutes into the presentation, the questions started. They were firing them off, left and right. I had all the answers, I think. I made jokes. I made points. I had to shut a few people down a few times. They weren’t happy, but I think it turned out well. Seven new contracts were signed which I know means nothing to a reader in this context but trust me, it’s BIG. Most of all, it reminded me that no matter how good you think you are or how prepared you might be, there is always a reason to try to be better. And maybe a little afraid.

You, there. Standing in the doorway of my cube. Why are you staring?

Is it because I burned the popcorn? Or is it because I’m eating it anyway?

Earlier today, someone told me I needed to “get out more.”

Yeah, okay.

Photo 1: I almost always take a picture from the airplane window- always on the way home. My way of saying goodbye. I know you can’t tell, but there’s ocean under them there clouds.

Yesterday, I met a little girl named Audrey. Audrey is eleven years old. She has two sisters, one older, one younger. Audrey loves soccer and she is one heck of a player. Audrey does well in school makes friends easily and is an all-around good kid. Audrey has cancer.

When Audrey was diagnosed, just a few short months ago, her entire life changed. No more school, no more soccer. Audrey and her family have been going through what so many families experience when cancer comes knocking- everything else stops. Your life is now doctors, hospitals and waiting. Audrey waits for treatment and for the day she can kick a soccer ball again. Her parents wait for their hearts to stop breaking. Her parent’s vigilance is amazing. I am quite certain that after talking with Audrey’s father for 10 minutes that I probably met one of the strongest people in this world. Saying this man was a positive thinker is an understatement. He is the true definition of a parent- there is clearly no limit as to what he’ll do for his children.

On top of all this, Audrey’s insurance provider has decided they can no longer cover her. That’s right, an eleven year-old in daily treatment for cancer is no longer covered by insurance. Audrey doesn’t know what this means. Her parents are at a loss. Someone had to do something. And someone did. Her soccer coach, and her entire soccer team, in fact. Yesterday over seventy soccer teams of all ages and abilitites came together in a charity soccer tournament hosted in Audrey’s honor. All funds, donations and proceeds going to Audrey’s treatment.

The people that put this together (in only three weeks) amazed me. They were organized, determined and thoughtful. Games were played from 8:00 in the morning till 8:00 at night. And not once was a score announced. Everyone knew why they were there.

Around noon, Audrey was able to make it to the tournament. She was able to do a lap around the field with her teammates and even kick a ball around a little. Because Audrey is currently in chemotherapy for eight hours a day, five days a week, she has very little “off time.” But yesterday, Audrey had some off time. She knows it doesn’t come often and, even at her young age, she knows the uncertainty of everything around her. I pray she also knows we are all pulling for her.