I received this little piece of spam recently:
Hi, Hellmuth-
I think we had correspondence a long time ago if it was not you I am sorry.If it was I could not answer you because my Mozilla mail manager was down for a long time and I could not fix it only with my friend’s help I got the emails address out for me ..:)
I hope it was whom we were corresponded with you are still interested, as I am, though I realize much time has passed since then…I really don’t know where to start ….Maybe you could tell me a little about yourself since I lost our early letters, your appearance,age , hobbies, and are you still in the search?
If it was you I wrote to and you are interested to get to know me better, I have a profile at [web address deleted]
Don’t really know what else to say for now I hope this is the right addressLet me know if you are interested, And I hopeyou won’t run when you see my picture 
ta-ta!!Folvyn
In spite of all the spelling and grammatical errors and the butchering of English in general, all I could think when I read it for the first time was: what if my name really was Hellmuth?
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