I should be doing something else right now.
I should be watering the flowers.
I should be cleaning the bathtub.
I should be returning emails and voice mails from family and friends that probably think I’ve up and run, again.
I should be stretching and doing some yoga.
I should be working on the report I have due later this week.
I should be contemplating school.
I should be researching the next article I have due, though I have three weeks.
I should be playing with my dog who, as I type, is mysteriously quiet.
I should be planning my sister’s visit.
I should be downloading photos and categorizing them to print.
I should be taking a walk, though it would be the third of the day because that’s my new “thing.”
I should be doing so much.
But I can’t. I can’t pull it together today. I can’t organize. I can’t process. I can’t think.
My mind can’t settle, my brain can’t slow down. I want to be in bed, but I’m not tired. No, I want to be at work- there is sure a lot to do there. I want to be with my sister. Wait, she is coming here. I want to be at Ivan’s. Soon enough. I want to be at a party. But you just did that last weekend.
There’s just too much today. Too many tasks. Too many people. Too many “shouldas” and too many “wannas.” I don’t want to think about any of it and I don’t want to do any of it. I just want to jump forward to tomorrow when everything will look different. Not better, not worse, just different.
Deal?
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