It was nearly 8:00 p.m. I’d been up since 5:00 a.m. I was up late the night before. I’d been taken to lunch, and dinner. I’d had two beers. It was a long, busy day, they have all been lately. One have-to-do turns into the next. But I had to run. I had to.
Because I felt fat.
Because I felt unsettled.
Because I needed to hear my own feet under me.
Because I needed to hear my own breath.
Because I needed to be outside.
Because there’s a blizzard coming tonight.
Because I don’t want to fall behind in training.
Because I want to set an example.
Because I want to feel good.
Because I like the sound of the leaves on the ground beneath me.
Because I am training without a partner for the first time.
Because running between the shadows makes me feel adventurous.
Because I don’t want to take it for granted.
Because my knee is finally comfortable on the downhill again.
Because Fall is as good as gone.
Because my life feels full.
Because sometimes I feel a little lonely.
Because I’ve figured so much out.
Because I still have a long way to go.
Because I need to relax.
Because I needed to get excited.
Because I didn’t need to wear gloves.
Because I run faster in the dark.
Because I’m quite certain that whatever it is I’m waiting on may never come.
Because five minutes later I remind myself that can’t be true.
Because I wanted to have fun.
Because I had pizza and ice cream and beer in the same night.
Because I have faith that I’m doing the best I can.
Because I want to work hard.
Because I have a name to live up to.
Because I never really know when I’ll get another chance.
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