Over the past month or so, I’ve been on more first dates than in the past five years combined. Gee, the adventure a cold day can bring. There have been a couple second dates, as well.
Overall, it’s been fun. I’m pretty surprised at how good I am at conversation. This is not to say I’m attractive, interesting or intriguing to everyone, but I haven’t had an awful date. That said, I haven’t had a “spark” beyond friendship in any of these, really. I’ve actually been able to make a few friends, which is cool. My count of male friends has really gone down in the past couple years. So, it’s a good thing. I have plans to go skiing with one guy and his sister next month. We agreed that we weren’t a match but both have trouble finding people to ski with, so we’re doing that. I won’t go alone with him, because we are not dating but if we can form a group (i.e. sisters, etc.) that’s fine by me.
I suppose some of this is a little disappointing, seen as it is a dating service, but if the story I come away with is how I made some new friends, I’ve probably already beat out half (or more) of those experienced in online dating. In some ways, that’s good enough for me. In others, it’s a little exhausting because then I have to think about the whole when and if thing more; and you know how my little mind goes, and goes. I told a friend this the other day, and how I just didn’t want to try that hard right now. I told her I was a little tired of it and that I wouldn’t keep up the online thing and maybe not be too concerned with dating at all. She knows me and she knows I can do this. She knows I can block things out, at least temporarily. I expected her to say “sure, take a break.” Instead, she said this:
“You know what? No. You don’t get to quit. You don’t get to convince yourself that timing or karma or lack of energy have anything to do with your dating life. If you want to stop the online dating thing, that’s fine but you don’t just get to quit altogether.”
“Why?”
“Because, despite your claiming a destiny of Old Spinster Cat Lady, though you don’t even have one single cat, there is someone out there for you! I know you can’t see that all the time and I know it might get a little difficult to believe but it’s true. It’s true and I see it. I see it in you and you know what?”
“What?”
“You owe it to that person to not give up. You owe it to him to be 100% looking for him, the RIGHT guy, when he finds you.”
It seems so obvious. Of course, it’s not about only me, it’s about him, too. I owe it to myself, and the person that might come along. Maybe this statement doesn’t apply to everyone. Maybe some things do happen when you least expect it. But for me, right now, I believe it. I want to believe it.
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