#@$!*&

Okay, so, running. Might as well just jump right in.

Two days after the half I ran ten days ago, I had an amazing run. Granted, it was only four miles but it was fast, had hills and I felt awesome! The following day, I wanted to go out for 6 and barely eeked out two. “Okay,” I thought, “you’re just tired. Try again tomorrow.” So I did. I tried for 8, barely got 5.5 and felt like I’d been run over by a truck. My calves felt like someone had filled them with lead, and mile after mile, they never loosened up. I was a little discouraged.

I took the next two days off from running. Sunday came, a week after the half, and I set out for a long run. There’s a marathon in May I’d like to do, so I needed to get the miles back up. I thought I’d try for 16. Yeah, didn’t happen. I barely got 12 and once again, they felt awful. Just as in the previous two runs, I felt tired, slow and heavy. Whether it be mental weight or actual physical affects holding me back, I don’t know. What I do know is, something’s not there.

Sunday night, about 8 hours after my long run (which was followed by a short hike with my two young cousins and walking the dog) I was exhausted and ready to fall into bed. I thought about soaking my feet for a while (don’t ask me why, it seemed logical at the time, really) and when I went to sit down on the edge of the tub I got a stabbing pain on the inside of my left knee that made loud, sailoresque words come out of my mouth without any forethought. Read: It hurt like a #@$!*&. I don’t really know what a #@$!*& is, but let’s just call it the worst possible knee pain I could have ever had. Much worse than my right knee has been, ever. It would happen again Monday morning when I sat down at my desk at work.

Since then, it has not really stopped hurting. Drugs take the edge off (legal, of course- though I see some desperation on the horizon should this situation not improve. Ha. Kidding. Mostly.) and ice helps a little, but most the time, it just hurts. I called and cried to my doctor yesterday at lunch and he can see me on Friday. I wanted to come in right then, but he convinced me to give it a few days saying “it might just be inflamed from your run.” To which I responded, “what the hell does it matter if I can’t run anyway? Maybe you just want me to turn into a huge, couch-loving, fat ass, huh? Is that it?” Okay, so not really but better he take the brunt of my frustration at $138 dollar per hour than my friends who I’ve not had to start paying yet (though that day may also be here if this doesn’t get better).

So, no running yesterday. No running today. Likely, no running tomorrow. I always tell people, when they’re injured or experiencing challenges in months before or after Summer “hey, better now than in June!” That’s my positive way of saying that there are nicer months coming and it’s better to be healthy then, than now. For the record, if someone said that to me today, I would slap them. Excuse the frustration in this post, I am clearly not dealing with this well just yet.