Today is my nephew’s first birthday. It’s difficult to put into words how a kid, that’s not even your own, can change your life and teach you so many things, just by being born. I’m amazed at how fast this year has gone and even knowing that is just what happens, I am a little sad that time moves so ridiculously fast.

I know he’ll be five… fifteen… twenty in a blink. And while I don’t have the right words, I also can’t help but think of all the things I hope he will know some day.

_____________________

To a kid that’s taught me more about myself and my family in a year than I could have ever imagined.

For times when you think no one, especially your parents, knows anything and you can figure it all out on your own.

Have faith. You are who you’re meant to be.

Your mother is smart. Listen to her. Except when she’s singing, no one should have to listen to that.

Your dad is smart. Listen to him. Try to pay attention to what he doesn’t say, too.

Most good things have the potential to be bad things. Even sunshine and ice cream.

People are always going to call you cute. It runs in your family, sorry.

Don’t underestimate the value of good music.

You can be responsible without being afraid.

Hugging is not for sissies, it is for everyone. The same cannot be said for kissing.

You can change your attitude at any time. This will often be the only thing you have the power to change.

Food is good. So are drinks. However, refer to line #4 above.

Your family is not normal. No one else’s is, either. The only difference is, we’ll embarrass you without even trying.

And we give a lot of nicknames to things and people. This is normal, no matter what others might say.

Have fun. You can work hard and play hard. Sometimes all at once.

People talk a lot. Sometimes, they even have something to say. This is a nice way of saying you should listen to your aunt.

There’s always something to learn. Always.

When you find good things, find a way to keep them in your life. This applies to people and memories, especially.

There is something to be said for knowing how to manage your money.

There is nothing wrong with dreaming.

There is also nothing wrong with cheesecake.

Know when to shut up.

I love you.

In times of stress, I have been known to do silly things. And consider them to be completely normal.

I eat cereal for dinner, turkey sandwiches for breakfast and Starbucks for lunch. I wake up in the middle of the night and watch infomercials, I run outside, by myself, in the early hours of the morning and I sing in the car like no one can see me. In a moment’s notice, I’ve bought a house, booked a villa and jumped in the car on Friday night to go to Vegas for the weekend. And I’ve been so lucky, not once has any of these things turned out badly. Even the infomercials.

The thing that resonates most with all of this is that none of it is probably that silly after all. It’s just me, and how I do things. Which, perhaps, is why when agreeing to be on a team for the Wasatch Back Relay, I didn’t feel strange at all. I was all excited and psyched and ready.

Well, that was two months ago.

Now that it’s about six weeks away, I’m freaking out. I don’t know if I can be ready. I’m scared of running in the middle of the night. I don’t want to let my teammates down. I want to be able to rely on my body. I want to feel like this was not a stupidly insane choice and that my body (and mind) is capable of running three legs of a relay. I want to stop asking myself “what were you thinking when you agreed to this?” I just don’t know how.

Yeah, yeah, relax, breathe, follow the training plan, you’ll be fine. Yeah, okay. Thanks. But in case no one noticed, THIS IS A LOT BIGGER DEAL THAN CEREAL.