In times of stress, I have been known to do silly things. And consider them to be completely normal.
I eat cereal for dinner, turkey sandwiches for breakfast and Starbucks for lunch. I wake up in the middle of the night and watch infomercials, I run outside, by myself, in the early hours of the morning and I sing in the car like no one can see me. In a moment’s notice, I’ve bought a house, booked a villa and jumped in the car on Friday night to go to Vegas for the weekend. And I’ve been so lucky, not once has any of these things turned out badly. Even the infomercials.
The thing that resonates most with all of this is that none of it is probably that silly after all. It’s just me, and how I do things. Which, perhaps, is why when agreeing to be on a team for the Wasatch Back Relay, I didn’t feel strange at all. I was all excited and psyched and ready.
Well, that was two months ago.
Now that it’s about six weeks away, I’m freaking out. I don’t know if I can be ready. I’m scared of running in the middle of the night. I don’t want to let my teammates down. I want to be able to rely on my body. I want to feel like this was not a stupidly insane choice and that my body (and mind) is capable of running three legs of a relay. I want to stop asking myself “what were you thinking when you agreed to this?” I just don’t know how.
Yeah, yeah, relax, breathe, follow the training plan, you’ll be fine. Yeah, okay. Thanks. But in case no one noticed, THIS IS A LOT BIGGER DEAL THAN CEREAL.