…you know how you might have once done the online dating thing, and then like a month later you quit because you never had time to check email? Then, you went out with a few people and made some friends but never really dated anyone. Then, you really quit because you decided dating should not have to cost you money, at least not right now.
But even though you quit, the site keeps sending email to your Yahoo account because, apparently, they don’t care that you quit and they think that by sending you profiles of all men within a 50 mile radius is somehow going to lure you back in. And, that you’re going to pay something like $30 to communicate with people when, clearly, that is $30 you could be saving to spend on vacation.
But then, they send the emails anyway and because you’re curious and bored and, well, because you’re you, you open the email and look at your “matches” because hey, AT LEAST YOU KNOW THEY’RE OUT THERE. And then, one day when you’re doing this curious thing, you scan down the page and bam! you see the husband of your neighbor. And you think to yourself “hmmm, that’s strange” and you wonder if they’re separated or something. But then, no, you see them outside together and all is normal. Then, you strike up a conversation and still, nothing out of the ordinary is revealed.
So then, because you don’t know what to do, you wrestle about it in your mind: Should I say anything? It’s not my business, and all those kinds of thoughts. And really, you come to no conclusion because how is that even possible? Then, as if that weren’t enough, you lose all faith in online dating “matching” because dang, really? They really thought you and your married neighbor were a match? What the heck?
And then, not knowing what else to do, you go out with friends for $20 All-You-Can-Eat Crab Leg Night because what remedies this kind of strife better than seafood? And, you also have a beer.
