Smack Me

As much as I’d like to be one of those laid-back people all the time, I’m not. And as much as I wish it were okay for me to just sit back and take everything with a grain of salt, that doesn’t come easily to me. Partly through training and partly through being the daughter of the most energetic woman on Earth I have learned that the only way to go is ALL THE WAY.

I know I’m not the only person like this, I have met people that cannot even slow down when they’ve purposely scheduled a week of their lives to do just that. While I don’t go that far, I do think it’s hard for a lot of people like this to maintain some perspective. Always going and wanting more and more leaves little time for appreciation. Yes, you appreciate things in your mind and you’re happy when things work out well, but before you know it you’ve moved on to the next goal (washing the car, acing your test, whatever) and short of someone reaching out and smacking you, you have no reason to stop.

Luckily, I have people in my life that will reach out and smack me when I need it, which I usually do. Last night, with plans to meet a friend for dinner, I was smacked. The day leading up to dinner was packed with meetings and driving and all the things we do that keep life going. The have-to’s, you might call them. Nothing extraordinary, but nonetheless work. After all the have-toing, I drove nearly an hour in bumper-to-bumper traffic to meet my friend, who is in town for training. We met in a very nice area of town because it was close to her hotel, no other reason.

[Sidebar: These people, this area of town, they are out of control. I mean, who goes to all the effort to get dressed up, made-up, bears the cleavage, dons the spikes just to go out to dinner at a chain restaurant at 7:00 on a Thursday night? I wanted to ask them if they knew where they were? This is Denver, Colorado, people. Chill out on the body "glow" powder and the hoops, for crying out loud.]

The hostesses immediately put me in a bad mood, acting like they were too good to actually tell us how long a wait for a table would be. I finally asked and, I could not make this up, she looked up at me from her ever-important task of erasing marks on the reservation book and said “oh, there’s no wait.” I thought I might throw up on her, just out of pure stun. We finally sat down, and had a great waiter. The night got better from there. Half-way through our appetizer and sake, I calmed down a little.

It occurred to me that with all the “important” things I did all day, I hadn’t really stopped to appreciate dinner with my friend. I needed to be smacked. Here I was, having dinner with someone I don’t get to see often, talking about everything from men to sports bras to school and work and my mind was racing so fast I wasn’t even aware of how special it is to spend time with people. And how special it is for people to want to spend time with you. In the movie Knocked Up there’s part of a scene where Paul Rudd’s character talks about how sometimes he’s shocked that anyone wants to be around him at all. While I wasn’t as moved by this movie as a lot of people, I really appreciated that. I know we are worthy of friendship and companionship, but I think it’s all to easy to forget that it’s something that is earned.

People choosing to be with you, wanting you around, needing your company is not just an accident of life. It is not just an extra on the gravy train ride. It is a blessing. And when you realize it, when you’ve been acting so crazy you need to be smacked, I’ll go so far as to say it’s a miracle.