I am sure there is some deep childhood issue burried here
There are times I really appreciate living alone. Like, say, the last 15 weeks when I’ve come home from work only to work more. That’s when it’s nice to be alone– when I need quiet and calm. Doing whatever I want, however I want. A week ago I was at a friend’s for dinner and trying to help clean up when her husband kindly came over to the dishwasher and asked me to step away, because “that is not how it’s supposed to be loaded.”* Yeah, right about then I was glad to live alone.
Other times, though, I don’t like it at all. The truth is, I love a busy house. I love when I’m in one room and people I love are sleeping in the next room. I love doors opening and closing, noise, and a constant shuffle. I never grew up with that, but I did go to those houses. Those homes of friends that were hang-out central, where we’d watch movies all day on a snow day, where their brother’s band would practice in the garage. There was always movement, laughter, food. It always made me feel good. Laying stretched out on carpeted basement floors watching football or 90210 (ha), playing Super Nintendo (ha ha), and just being together. I like being together.
That’s when it’s tough. Nights when I’m too lazy to cook, when it’s so quiet I can hear the clock tick and the chimes outside blowing in the wind, it’s those nights when I’d like to have that full house. When I need to have it. I need to watch things happening, to witness the shuffling around, to hear the screen door open and close and feel a part of it all.
I think it’s inevitable that I’ll have that house one day. Until then, considering I spent an hour on the treadmill last night singing Dolly Parton songs at the top of my lungs, it’s probably a good thing I’m not there just yet.
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* For the record, I will never complain about someone else doing the dishes, and I do not understand people who do.
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13 Responses to “I am sure there is some deep childhood issue burried here”
May 13th, 2008 at 9:34 am
That’s why I always had roomies, even when I could afford to live alone. I like living with people, for the most part.
May 13th, 2008 at 10:49 am
Its so hard because Tom does all the laundry, which of course is awesome, but then he mixes colors and I get pink t-shirts. So then I have to say something which is horrible because have I done any laundry in two years? No.
May 13th, 2008 at 11:01 am
I’ve lived alone, with best friends, in group homes with strangers, and with a boyfriend… and I simply love living alone. But it is a little bit sad when I’ve had guests and company and laughter and then when they leave, those first few minutes after they’re gone seem eerie and lonely.
May 13th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
I love living alone - the quiet, the peace, the privacy, the ability to sing and dance and eat pizza at 3 AM and no one cares. So adjusting to having a kid was and is quite a challenge for me. Now, (now that I am adjusted that is) the house seems a bit empty and too quiet when she isn’t around - even if it is just for a few hours.
My house will never be the one you described - with kids running in and out and such, but I do love those houses just as I love coming home to my quiet - do dishes and laundry however I want - kind of house!
It takes all kinds to make the world go round!
May 13th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
i cant believe he told you that you were doing the dishes WRONG!? who is he?!
i think it’s also a grass is greener thing too. i have a roommate, but there are sometimes id just like to live solo. i know if i did, id love it for many things, but id miss the companionship and just the… having someone there-ness to it all.
May 13th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
I grew up in one of those constant-activity houses, then moved in with roommates and have now lived alone (except for a couple brief boyfriend stints) for about 11 years. You’re right - it can be lonely. But it can also be heavenly…
Being a crazy cat lady helps. Especially if you change the words of the Dolly Parton songs to be about the cats.
May 13th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Sometimes you can be lonely even with a full house, but it is harder to be.
I would never complain about someone else doing the dishes either, but when you have a dishwasher that requires you to pretty much wash the dishes before you load it, I can certainly understand preferring to doing it yourself. Otherwise you’ll just be doing it yourself later anyways.
May 13th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
You are hilarious!
It seems everyone’s got a system when they clean. They get all territorial about it! My mom would do that to me constantly! She’d ask me to clean something and then hover.
I grew up in a full house so I know exactly what you mean. It’s nice because it feels like home. My brothers and I (and our neighbours) totally rocked the Nintendo!
May 14th, 2008 at 4:38 am
Hubby might have been able to speak to you differently or what-not, but if their dishwasher is anything like mine, you have to load it one way (and one way only with the large dishes) or none of them get clean. I had to go over this time and time again with my roommate before he figured it out. Otherwise, he’d complain that the dishes weren’t clean and run the dishwasher, again, with the same results.
May 14th, 2008 at 5:46 am
My dad uses the excuse that he doesn’t know or doesn’t load the dishwasher right, and mom rearranges it, but she can’t get him to see that she rearranges it too, and that if they are in it, she’s fine with that…
I don’t know that I could have others in my house…I have a roommate, but that’s been on a temp basis…I have my set way of doing things and my cleanliness and I don’t know if I could trust someone else to do it, but I know I wouldn’t be happy have to clean up after someone else either!!
May 14th, 2008 at 8:36 am
As a person who likes doing the dishes, I just wish my boyfriend would learn how to cook. I’d gladly do the dishes if he’d cook. And if he wants to do the dishes when I cook, especially without me asking, I will definitely let him!
I like living alone. I like it so much I worry i will never be able to “settle down” with someone.
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:23 am
You want a family.
June 7th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
I hate to admit it but I too have a little OCD when it come to doing dishes…
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