In the difficult times, maybe I’ll just walk around my house in heels saying “Paso Double!”

Would it even sound believable if I’d said in the last 48 hours I’ve both worn tall, uncomfortable heels (though I did love the dress) and watched ballroom dancing until very late into the evening and worn jeans, drank beer and watched a baseball game? The weekend did feel very contradictory though.

The mood I ended the week with on Friday was not good. My first instinct, of course, was to find a place to put the blame. After all, there is a cause to unhappiness as much as there is happiness, right? This mood was happening to me, right? It was not my fault.

Well.

That might all be true. But having that attitude for more than a short time feels a little like a cop out. Telling myself that only a change or the presence or absence of something would improve my mood was not getting me anywhere. While I agree that we all need our moments, I don’t seem to be the kind of person who can live in those moments for very long. Not that I was admitting this on Friday. Oh no. I hadn’t gotten that far on my own. Good thing for me, there was help coming.

A friend of mine who I adore more each time I’m around her invited me to watch part of a ballroom dance competition over the weekend. I accepted without hesitation because, as I mentioned, I’d get to be around her and also, I can never pass up exposure to new things. Now, I really can’t get into the whole dancing part of this because a) I move with the grace of a moose, and b) I know nothing about dancing at. all. What I will say, though, is that it was fascinating. The entire time I just could not get over how some people are able to move their bodies so gracefully and with such control. Some people even manage to blink gracefully. My gosh.

After a late performance by a professional pair on Saturday evening, a woman sitting across from me asked me if I wanted to dance after seeing a show for the first time. I told her no, not really, but that I wouldn’t mind watching it forever. I also wanted to add that if we come back in next lives, I’d ask to come back with rhythm.

Sunday afternoon I went to a Triple A baseball game with a group of friends. There are few things better than baseball in the afternoon in the summer. I think I may have mentioned a few times that this scenario is just the kind of thing that would make me fall in love with something. The breeze across the field, the ambiance of happy people, the relaxation induced by sitting and just being. It’s all so good. I also might have mentioned (and posted to Twitter) that I loved summer so much that I’d marry it and have it’s babies. I’d had half a beer at this point, so that’s my excuse.

After being made fun of for half a beer getting to me and for wearing a shirt that said “I Hug Trees” (don’t ask) I found myself realizing that my entire weekend was an attitude adjustment. New experiences, old experiences, friends, I needed every bit of it. I feel like I spent all last week (and probably several weeks before) absorbed in a state of pity all the while not realizing that my mom’s advice was, of course, right on: no one situation ever defines you. I just needed to open my eyes a little and remember that the rest of life doesn’t stop because I have a bad attitude or because I’m depressed over something. There is still life to live and people that want you around, even if you have moments when you can’t bring yourself to answer the phone at night.

I’m not sure of how much confidence I have in this feeling lasting, I am hesitant to make any promises. But it feels so good that I’m going to tell myself that it was more than just the weekend. It was more than just a break. It was the help I didn’t know I was waiting for. I don’t know if I can remind myself of that often enough, but I’m really going to try.