Yesterday afternoon I stopped at the grocery store. This, I guess, is my hobby now as I enjoy giving myself a heart attack at the price of a bell pepper. You’d think I’d learn, but nope, it works every time. The last thing I picked up yesterday was bread, so I had to go through the bakery. I will not lie, I love that section of the store. Almost as much as I love the dairy section (you know, where they keep the ice cream).
I picked up the bread, put it in my cart and then walked past everything else on my way to the check out. Just as I was crossing an isle, I stopped to avoid a serious shopping cart collision and I looked up to see a woman looking at me. “You just walk right through all that good stuff without even looking at it, don’t you?”
Um, what? I wasn’t quite sure what she was saying. I didn’t know this woman, I was almost certain, so I turned around to be sure she was talking to me. No one else was around, so I looked at her with what must have been a clear question on my face. “I don’t know how you people can do it, just walk on by. I wish I knew.”
This was really strange. I didn’t quite know how to react. Why does this happen to ME? That’s all I could think. Why do people feel the need to tell me these things, to ask me these questions.? I really should have been a bartender— I must have the face for instant confessions or something.
I paused for what was probably an uncomfortable amount of time. It occurred to me that this might be one of those moments that starts out akward, but has the potential to end well. I looked around, I looked at the fruit and vegetables in my cart, I reached out and put my hand on her hand and assured her “no, I’m not one of those people. Not at all. Today is just a good day.”
That is it. Just a good day.
It’s hard not to judge one another, I know. It’s hard not to look at a person and assume what they go through. It’s hard to imagine that beyond the guise of the clothes on their body, the groceries in their cart, or their actions in that moment that we might be going through the very same struggles, having the very same thoughts. Underneath the cover of that moment, I believe we’re really more the same than we are different. Yesterday proved that to me.
When it was done, I was at first a little sad. I was sad that it took a stranger’s moment, possibly a very hard moment, to remind me of this. And I was sad that I didn’t have a better response. That’s just what first came to my mind, though. I reacted with instinct. I reacted with honesty. I didn’t know how to be anyone other than me at that moment. Why should we have to try so hard, anyway? If we’re going to put work into something, it shouldn’t be trying to be something we’re not. Perhaps, even, it should be trying to embrace what really is. Sometimes, all that means is that we’re being ourselves… on a good day.
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
I think it was a perfect response. It was honest and sincere.
I was at work once when someone was selling charity chocolates (An Aussie icon called a Freddo Frog)… anyway, the person looked at me and said “oh there’s no point asking you, you don’t eat chocolate!” It was an incredible statement and so so SO far from the truth.
At that time I had not eaten any since working at that location. Funny… I was so stunned, I couldn’t even tell her I LOVED chocolate and I would have loved to devour a Freddo right there and then… and as for the Caramello Koala? mmmmm It was calling my name too!
What a kind and thoughtful response.
You response was more than fine and something I’m sure she needed to hear.
Ah yes, the bakery and the dairy aisle…I have to avoid them both!! Seriously, I stay far, far away from the bakery aisle because darnit, next I know those stupid cupcakes have jumped into my cart and I can’t seem to convince them leave it…
It’s kind of the way I approach people that assume, wrongly, that because I run, I must eat super healthy. No, I run so that you can’t tell that I don’t eat super healthy!
Now I want to go and buy some cake…I have an errand to run that I should do at lunch, and it goes by the great grocery store with bakery on my way back…hmmm…
People ALWAYS talk to me too. In fact yesterday I too was the grocery store. I was on the phone, carrying my purse on one shoulder and a grocery basket in that hand. And some woman stopped me to ask what aisle Baking Soda was in. WHY? I so clearly don’t work there and was on the phone. Very strange.
I love walking through the bakery. I look at all of it, breathe in the wonderful smells, and mostly, walk on by. I don’t think the cupcakes, pies, cookies and cakes are as good as what I can make at home, so that makes it easier. Donuts don’t call me either – just not my thing. But the breads…oh, I could eat an entire loaf in one sitting and go back for seconds…
And don’t get me started on chocolates! By the way, if the cookies or pie is homebaked – it’s a whole ‘nother story!
I constantly battle with what I want to and what I should eat. I literally sat in front of the pantry last night for over a minute debating with myself about eating a Twinkie, my little pleasure cakes. That actually sounded much creepier than I thought it would…
I’ve gotten used to the fact that food will always be a struggle for me.
And I swear I am not making this up, but R-O-C-K came on my Ipod while I had it on shuffle driving into work this morning. Good times, good times.
Your response was wonderful. Whether it is the bakery or the ice cream or the chocolate or the chips, there is a part of the grocery store that draws us and requires a “good day” to walk through without hesitation! I always hesitate at the berries though – yum – and then I continue after seeing the price. But there are days when it is a “good day” and I pay that price and enjoy every minute of those berries!
I’ve been told I look like a snob but I think that is because I just really quite and shy so no one talks to me.
But, you said the perfect response in my opinion.
i love this, justrun. your response was perfect. it was YOU and you were being authentic and real. honest. im sure she appreciated it more than you think.
I think that is a wonderful response! I hope the woman took something from it.
There are chocolate and candy days and fruits and veggies days in my life – both good in their own ways, but I just try and have more of the fruits and veggies ones!
oh, and when i was in europe, i swear EVERY.SINGLE.BAKERY. called my name. i’d have to stop each time i saw a new one, bc heaven forbid i might not see one later in the day (or more like around the corner). hmmm, guess that is where that extra 5 pounds came from. it was totally worth it though!
That was a lovely response, really it was. I’m sure I would have just stuttered something lame like, “well if they used real cream I’d be all over it, but I’d rather have a carrot than that fake stuff”. Which really wouldn’t have made her feel any better.
HA ha great timing! Two weeks ago, I gave into temptation and bought a birthday cake, two kinds of French bread AND cinnamon rolls in the same grocery order (later I felt guilty and got rid of some of the worst of that lot).
People talk to me too and sometimes I also do that. It can be disconcerting to the other person, and your response was excellent. It might even have inspired her to expect only good days one day at a time for herself.
Don’t be too hard on yourself–hey maybe you just need a snack (wicked grin)???
I love this post! So many people would’ve shrugged it off and gone one with their shopping. I love that you spoke to her and touched her hand.
Little moments like that are so cool. It always makes me feel more grounded and connected when I have interaction with a complete stranger – without even seeking it out. You’re right, we’re not so different after all.
And that is why, after eating fruits and veggies and nuts and granola and yogurt all day yesterday, I STILL topped it all off with a HUGE helping of Baklava for dessert last night! We’re all the same. Some of us just have better willpower most days.
Fantastic post & message.