Almost every time I sit down to write something for this website anymore I can’t help but think of the one or two spam comments that will get caught in the filter. They’ll say something like “Thank for this. I much like read you.” And for a moment I will consider that it’s someone who really only knows English as a second fifteenth language and say aww, poor fella. But then I’ll look at the link and realize it’s something like wehavemuchnekkidpeopleforyou.com and there goes my Internet innocence, once again.
As I sit here right now, though, I have to expect that I’ll get some extra fun Google searches eventually because I want to talk about gas. If you’re my mom, this is where you roll your eyes and stop reading. (Bye, mom! Love you!) But for those who didn’t follow my mom and click the red X, well… I’m sorry to you, too. I can’t help it.
Often when you’re involved in a sport with other people, you’ll find yourself getting really close to those people. You end up being less modest around them, all of you warriors facing the same challenges together. This is no different in running. When I first began running with other people, I thought it was just a phenomenon unique to my friends and me, but I soon learned different. You see, when you’re running and working and sweating a lot, you are not at your most attractive, relatively. And your body isn’t always at it’s most cooperative. Which is the point here. You see, your athlete friends end up getting to know you a lot better and a lot faster when one day you’re in the middle of a run and you break into an all-out sprint just to get across the park to the nearest, most disgusting public restroom because something about your breakfast just got a whole lot fast-er.
Bathroom visits, along with nausea, blood, blisters, sweat, and occasionally tears bring people together. As does gas. And while some people may think it’s disgusting to even talk about, much less do in front of other people, I challenge you to a 5K after your boss just surprised your entire group with Mexican food for lunch. IT HAPPENS. There is a good chance it will happen to you. And when it does, your fellow runners will likely understand. Besides, running is a rambunctious, fast-moving, ever-changing activity. In other words, if there’s gas it can quickly be left behind. (Heh.)
The same, however, cannot be said for yoga. Which is why I should probably never return to that studio again.
The End.
Hold me.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Why do I feel like this post was written just for me?
It’s so funny how bodily functions just have to come up at some point in conversation when you’re doing things like running or hiking. And yes, yoga farting is my biggest fear.
I have to ask now…do you do any prep work before long races? My friend said she knows people who take laxatives and after my last race I wondered about doing this myself.
So been there. The guy just kind of laughed it off. I think men can do that a lot easier than woman can.
I swear the number one reason my friend’s give me for not doing yoga is the fear of farting.
Let’s not have them read this post, mkay?
Out of respect for others at the gym, I won’t go if I’m having a particularly gassy day. However, there are few things about running that are funnier than farting while running.
ummm…
ethiopian food sunday night.
still in my system.
ran my fastest morning run thus far this morning to race home to the bathroom.
TMI? you understand.
When I get together with my sister, we go for fart walks together. It’s a tradition we both enjoy.
The best thing about farting while running is the gas cloud that smothers the other runners as you pass by.
So sorry about the Yoga. Of course anybody who noticed is glad it wasn’t them.
More OK for men: another one of those sexist double standards.
Ha ha ha! This is very funny (apologies to Lesley’s Mum!) – you made me laugh. I found all of this out on a 4 month trip through Africa. Nothing, I repeat N O T H I N G is sacred.
And yes, yoga is a danger zone for sure!