This morning, just before my alarm was supposed to go off, I woke up having dreamt I was late. No matter how many times I register, train, and mentally prepare myself for a race, this always happens. The days leading up to the race are spent making lists, checking and double checking, and just wishing it would be here already. You’d think I actually had something to lose, the way my mind works.
Having said that, two weeks ago, I wasn’t even sure I was going to do this race. You see, this has not been my most productive of summers, running wise. Remember that marathon in April? Oh, and that marathon in May? Well I wasn’t exactly setting land speed records at that point and as purposeful as those were for me, they weren’t the kind of races that make you say “yes! I am ready for more! Bring it!”
Nonetheless, here I am registered for yet another race, the Pikes Peak Ascent. I have done this race before, and that is both a blessing and a burden this time around. Yes, I know what to expect. But I also have the ability to compare, and this time around that’s not the greatest thing. When I did this race four years ago, I was prepared. I was trained. I concentrated on almost nothing else for four months and when the day came, things went pretty much just as I’d planned. Aside from the rain, hail, lightening, and snow at the top of the mountain that day, it was ideal for me.
This time, I have had a summer full of so much more than training. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, of course, but travel and stress don’t count for anything when you’re standing at the starting line. Aside from that, I also have the infamous knee injury that while improving, is still a significant difference from the health I had four years ago.
So I had to think about all of that. I had to contemplate it. Having registered for this race in March, well before the April and May marathons, well before the travel, the jet lag, the fun, I really didn’t take the time to analyze how it would feel now, five days before race day.
But then I got over it. There’s something to be said for comparison, and there’s also something to be said for forgetting it and making do with what is, what you have right now. This past Saturday I got up at an unearthly hour, drove to the race start, and did about 7 miles of the course (it’s a trail, and what goes up must come down, so 13.something miles total). I told myself if I could do that much, that would be my comparison. That would be my new normal. Yes, the remaining 6 miles will be much harder (hello, 4,000 ft. gain in 6 miles) but it was enough, if only in my mind.
For whatever reason, I feel fine. I am reassured. I registered, and I’ll do my best to finish what I start, and follow through. It is not a question of being the same as I once was, it’s a question of being able. And I am.
Of course I’ll probably still wake up every day this week feeling like it’s race morning, but we’ll just call that preparation too.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
that sounds like a great trip! im so happy you had such a good time with the kidlets.
Enjoy the run, regardless of your complicated relationship with the course. And remember, you don’t have to better yourself each time out.
You are crazy girl!! So many props for tackling this! It is like 1000′ more vertical than the big mountain I climbed last week – which I now feel less accomplished about doing. Thanks a lot…
I had my first triathlon this weekend, which I certainly wasn’t ready for (at least mentally) – but, as you said, I knew I was able. My lack of preparation meant I didn’t push as hard as I could/should have on the swim or bike, but I finished with no problem – and really, that was all the mattered!
That is beyond awesome that you are running the Ascent again? That makes the Pikes Peak Challenge Hike that I am coming out to do in September seem like a cakewalk from an athletic standpoint. I need to try this run in a year or two. But first comes the Marine Corps Marathon, a multitude of half marathons over the winter, and a spring marathon. Or two, Vermont and something else.
Whoa, I meant running the Ascent again!! not ? You’ll kick but and will have earned several beers at Bristol Brewing and/or Black Bear Pub when you get down the mountain.
You seriously amaze me. I don’t know how you do it. You need to bottle your energy and your attitude and sell it to the rest of us!
Wow…I know of that race…I ran a marathon where a guy was wearing a shirt that he did the half and full…talk about even more insane!! But even if you aren’t prepared as fully as you would like, you know you can finish it and sometimes it’s nice to have a race that is just “fun”…