Name that song!
And then, seriously, someone give me Ambien. I have never in my life had trouble sleeping. I am the girl that falls asleep in the Las Vegas airport, slots clanging away. I can sleep on a plane, I can sleep on a train. I can sleep on a bus, I can sleep… okay, nevermind, that will get old very fast.
Now, though, I cannot sleep. I have been up nights for no good reason (although spending many a hard-earned dollar on photography equipment at midnight last night sure did feel good) out of the ordinary. And the only problem with being up in the middle of the night is that I am also consistently expected to be awake and functioning during the day. This does not work.
This is part of the reason that my new project, or whatever the hell we can call something that I haven’t been able to concentrate on in days, is not done. I can’t explain it, but it is darn hard to put any kind of passion or even effort into something when you’re working on two hours’ sleep.
I am hoping it’s just a phase and that it’s going to pass but I have to be honest, right now I don’t know if the little “project” deal is really going to happen. I have doubts, many a doubt, and most of that is I don’t know how I feel about doing it any more. I’m missing my little site here, and maybe that’s enough.
Hoooo, boy, how do I say this? I might be a liar. There, it’s said. I might not be willing to continue with the “project” any more, or I may not be ready to do it right now. I can’t tell. I don’t like admitting it, but I also don’t like having lost my drive to do it in the first place. And hopefully I’ll figure that out.
A couple weeks ago, while traveling to Loveland, Colorado (where the sunset photos in my previous post were taken) and Estes Park, Colorado I did find this:
.
So please excuse me, while I go nap sit there and think about what I’ve done.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
I struggle all too often with insomnia and it is the WORST. I am so sorry. I find if it goes on for a long time that writing down all the things that stress me, worry me, etc. helps get them out of my brain and then I can usually sleep a little better.
Sinead O’Connor.
And with that, I surrender my man-card.
first of all, i have to tell you that i did a little dance in my chair when i saw a new post from you pop up in my reader. i missed you!
go easy on yourself lady. if you don’t “feel” it right now, take a step back. you’ll know when (and if) the time is right. there’s no pressure… and you’re not a liar. we all have a right to change our minds and even go off course and come back to something.
hang in there and get some rest this weekend!
I can’t explain it, but it is darn hard to put any kind of passion or even effort into something when you’re working on two hours’ sleep.
oops- i pasted part of your post in my comment because i was going to say, that makes sense. it’s hard putting passion towards something when you’re already running on empty!
That is my kinda bench…
And as for the sleep – what is up with the body deciding sleep is no longer automatic? I’m with you on falling asleep wherever…and when that happens…well, let’s just say dear old brain and I have a little chat.
http://www.booshy.wordpress.com
I’m struggling with direction in my life right now. I have three different directions I could go, and they’re all tugging me for different reasons. Of course, if the economy didn’t suck, I’d stay the path I was on.
Get some sleep.
You give me half of the lack of sleep and I’ll give you half of my fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Then we’ll be even. Nowadays I fall alseep if I sit down for more than 10 minutes. I’m pooped.
I think, in time, you’ll find the time to get your project underway. That first step is a dooooozy. Go for it. You’re no liar.
Don’t push it – neither the project nor the fussing over sleep. Let the project alone to percolate or to whither, which ever was meant to be will happen. And sleep will come, especially if you don’t fret about it.
I love that song. I’m late so it just looks like I’m cheating. Want me to sing it in its entirety to prove it.
You are not a liar. You need some sleep! Lack of sleep and PMS are two very good reasons for losing interest in things, getting into stupid fights, or making rash decisions. At least they are for ME.
Oh come on! That music challenge was tooo easy.
Get some sleep and then think about whether you are ready to launch your project. Sleep undermines rational thought. Maybe you are supposed to launch it right now! And maybe you are supposed to let it simmer and it was enough that you finished it. You’ll never be able to make a sound decision if you are exhausted.
Omg. How do I get that bench in my apartment?? LOVE.
When I first moved to chicago I couldn’t sleep for months – it is horrible.
And, I say do what you want – whatever makes you happy. I’m glad to read your post.
Um I think “liar” = “normal person who has a lot going on in life.”