I know Christmas and holiday times bring out a lot of optimism and wonderment in people (except when you’re at the mall. So help you if you are at the mall), but I tend to be like that a lot of the time. It is kind of how I’ve lived so far, thinking “what if?” and then, more often than not, actually seeing things fall into place. I’m doing a lot of that today, because I just cannot see any other way. If the whole world doesn’t know by now, not to say that the whole world cares, I’ve been out of a regular gig (JOB) for over six weeks now.
Although this was all my choice, it’s not without it’s moments of panic. Planning and reassurance aside, sometimes it’s all I can do to keep myself from FREAKING OUT. I mean the kind of freaking out only reserved for emergencies, but in my mind, there’s a really thin line between EMERGENCY and CALM DOWN, STUPID, it’s all going to work out. I live on that line a lot.
But I think I also picked the best time of year to live on that line, because everyone around me is a little more optimistic and reassured, too. Even if I am in a panic and flailing around in the streets come January 2nd, right now I’m okay.
In my world, it’s Christmas! No need to panic, for there are cookies and snowmen and lights!
(The above three photos taken at the Bellagio Hotel, Las Vegas earlier this month. The majority of the display is created from flowers and live plants. It is phenomenal, if you ask me.)
And there are also baked goods galore around here, as I’m sure there are where ever you are, too. My plan: eat them all. Yes, I know. But in all practicality there is a chance I will have to live outdoors soon and I’m thinking I’m going to need the extra layers of warmth. And, man, Key Lime Cookies can provide that layer, let me assure you!
Alright, truth be told, I really don’t think I’m going to be living on the street. That is the optimistic part of me, the part of me that knows it’s going to work out. And by “it” I mean a lot of things. Number one being my immediate future. In spite of how crazy it sounds.
In the mean time, I cannot help but party a little.
There’s nothing like a pile of dirty dishes and a tub full of empty wine bottles to make you feel like it’s all going to work out, right?
So that’s why I can easily think of a What If list. In spite of it sounding stupid and crazy and being within moments of a freak out, I still feel so close to that What If that I can almost touch it.
I hope your holiday, whatever it may be, is full of optimism and dirty dishes. And maybe some cookies and wine.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Sigh. If only I had a dishwasher, I would cook SO MUCH MORE. They look delish.
At least I have my wine.
I love Christmas. Those pictures from the Bellagio are great. Hey- you should start selling prints on Etsy! Your stuff is so lovely, I have no doubt it would sell. I just bought Mr. W a print off there for Christmas.
I think focusing on the good is the best lead up to a new job. I was in a total freakout before my current job and then I decided, “screw it, it’s my birthday month, I’m going to Disneyland.” When I came home that night, there was a message on my machine from a recruiter. Almost 5 years later, I still love my job. Keep on enjoying Christmas and you never know what’ll happen!
Your photos have gone a long way to making me feel very Christmassy this morning. I particularly love the one with the red and white wine goblets. The promise in that photo, the feeling of celebration and community, is almost palpable.
I know how you feel. I’m not working this semester either. I took it off from work to finish my dissertation and write, and while I truly think that’s what I need right now in order to finish this degree, I’m a bit freaked out that there is absolutely no money coming in and I do live in one of the most expensive places in the world. But you’re right things have a way of working out and panicking doesn’t help one bit. So here I am, like you, trying to take it easy and enjoy what is, which if you ask me, is pretty good too.