On updates and resolutions

I’ve gotten a few emails over the last couple weeks regarding me, my life since I quit my job, running, and my dizzyness/headache issue. It always amazes me what people remember, and all the people that care. It is a very encouraging, reassuring thing when you realize people think about you.

First, my head: it is good. I followed up with a physician friend of mine a couple weeks ago, and things are essentially normal. I stopped getting the dizzyness and “fuzzy” feeling a couple weeks before Christmas and so far it hasn’t returned. I feel very fortunate in that it was likely an isolated, superficial thing and that I have good friends to be concerned about me when I need it.

As for every other question regarding my life, well your guess is as good as mine.

After a lot of thought and nearly a week into 2010, I sort of decided I need some goals. Resolutions, as cliche as they are, are also very motivating. It’s a fact.

If you’re reading this you’re reading the words of a person who uprooted her life at the end of 2009 and so, goals or resolutions or life changes are imminent for me. I’m not so much as planning life changes at this point as I’m signed up and in line, for better or worse. And honestly, without some goals to keep in mind for this year, I might just go into full-on panic mode more regularly than I already do. Oh these risks, they do not come without a whole mess of crap you don’t imagine at the start. Yes, mess of crap.

I think if there’s any way I’m going to make it through the next year of unknowns, I’m going to have to remember a few things. Or, rather, I’m going to have to be certain about a few things. There is a difference between just thinking based on what you believe and actually acting on it. I try to do this now, but I can do better.

1. Everything I do will come from a place of love. And people will know it.

I know this seems sort of silly, but as far back as I can remember, the thing that most helps me make a decision is to act through love. Not pride, not desperation, and not pressure. Love. My actions and reactions say this, and I need to say it, too. The people in my life deserve that, as do I.

2. It is okay to not want to do something.

Whether it’s a perfectly clean house or work or helping someone out, it’s okay to say no, and it’s always okay to do it on my own terms, guilt free.  Guilt. Free.

3. On the same hand, I want to try for something every day. Every day can be progress.

I need the reminder that some discouraging news or a change of plans isn’t a setback, just a different direction.

4. Continue to grow physically.

I am still a runner, I always want to be a runner. I love running simply to run, and though I love my share of races, there isn’t one that’s topped a cool summertime trail run with some good friends. I want to love it like that again, and I want to commit to letting running be something that’s in me rather than something I’m chasing after.

I want to continue to grow in yoga. Over the past 6 months, yoga has saved me from being discouraged, lazy, and depressed. It has done things for my body I could not have imagined, and even more for my mind. It is expensive, and I’m unemployed, but I have to believe that it is the right thing to keep pursuing it. I hope I can.

5. I will work on photography more, and I will use it. Period.

I work on photos so often, in all stages, but I feel like the ways I can grow with photography right now are limitless. I may not have all the equipment and software available, but I have a lot, I have enough, and I can use it.

I’m actually working on something new right now, which I’ll talk about soon. Stay tuned!

It’s almost a week into 2010. I sure hope in 51 more weeks I can say I did it right.