For anyone who’s familiar with yoga, whether you’ve practiced regularly, been to a class or two, or simply walked by, it probably won’t surprise you to hear that many yoga teachers like to give students (yogis) something to think about during that class, in addition to guiding. This morning, as I situated myself in child’s pose on my mat at 6:00, the teacher read a quote about how to become a butterfly. The answer: “You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”
I can find this quote all over the Internet, and several different people are credited with it, so I’m not sure of it’s origin. But what really struck me is how we can so distinctly misinterpret something, how we can misinterpret ourselves.
My entire life, if you would have asked me if I was willing to give up being a caterpillar, I would say “of course!” I have no fear. I am not afraid to say what I think, leave where I’m comfortable, and discover new things. Additionally, I would have thought that the quote itself was a little ridiculous, a little elementary. Pssssh! I am already a butterfly, and geez, I don’t need to talk about it. As the days go by now, however, I’m realizing more and more that I do need to talk about it. I do need to express what I want, and what I dream of.
It is one thing to quit your job, which, still, eight weeks later, I don’t regret. It is quite another to turn that into a change that is about work, but is also about so much more. It’s changing my lifestyle. That, right there, that is the part that I’m uncomfortable with. That is where I’m a caterpillar.
As you can imagine, I had a lot of questions to answer when I quit my job. I had a lot of people doubting me, and even more people supporting me, even as they were unsure. Skepticism and confidence can go hand-in-hand, that much I learned while making such a public, obvious move. What I didn’t know was that in order to move forward, and to grow, I’d have to continue to do it somewhat publicly and obviously.
Even though I did this, and I am the only one I have to answer to, it was not without the support of those around me that I made my way through it. In a lot of ways, the big part of this decision for me was not quitting my job, it was letting other people in on my life, and therefore on the things I was hiding before.
If any lesson can be learned from this, it’s that a huge decision or change in your life is probably not going to be about only that one change. If you let it, it’s going to grow and turn into something else entirely, and something you’ll need even more time to figure out. Eight weeks later and I’m just now learning this, and just now realizing that you can’t just think yourself out of being a caterpillar. There’s a lot more to it.
There’s always a lot more to it.
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This is so interesting. You’re so right that of course at first we’d all instinctively assume that yes, we are butterflies ready or at least would choose to be. But being a caterpillar is about being comfortable and familiar and safe, and there’s a lot to be said for that as well. At the very least, it’s difficult to leave that behind.
You are awesome. You know that right? From the outside looking in – you seem to be doing all the right things in making those changes.
It’s true, and it’s not something that we often think about, but it’s often the act of telling people that makes our acts real.
Doing something that publicly holds you accountable.
It also means you are totally brave, and/or rock.
In this case, AND.
I LOVE this quote and the post and the whole thought process!! It is a wonderful idea to know that when one is ready not to be a caterpillar anymore, one becomes something as beautiful as a butterfly – not saying the earlier stage isn’t beautiful mind you as it is. We can’t be butterflies without that caterpillar phase.
It is all about letting go and finding the courage to fly and to take the risks to leave the old life behind and yet to take it with us in the sense of learning form it… sigh… babble… I just love this whole idea!!
This may contradict your last point in the post, but maybe it’s not about changing your lifestyle. Maybe it’s changing the way you think about your lifestyle. If you love it, you may not want to change it – and that’s ok. So maybe it’s a matter of figuring out ways to maintain the lifestyle – but through happier, more gratifying means than before.
I love this post. It resonates with me deeply.