Answers to questions—answers I didn’t even know I had

I thought I’d get over all the mushy feelings but then I read the comments and here I am again. Aww, Internet love. Thanks, everyone!  Never having been one to concentrate on getting people to this site (I’m not a sales person I guess) I found it so interesting reading how you got here, and if you even remembered… which helped me remember how I found some of you! And you’re right, it’s really hard to remember after a while. It’s like we’re all in a web and the paths back and fourth from blog to blog have overlapped so much you can’t see the original… wait, did I just say “we’re all in a web?”  OMG. I’ll shut up now.

So, I still have not thought of anything proper to do for my “anniversary” here but I’m getting there. I’m thinking gift package, but it’s got to be good so it’ll be a while.

On to the questions…

Barb asked: What would your superhero name be and what power would you have?

Barb always comes up with good ones. I think if I could have a superpower right now, today, it would be to only need selective sleep. I know, it’s boring, but to think that I could just sleep when I wanted to rather than when I had to would be great right now. Is that even a super power? And what kind of name would go with something like that?  Wow, I am so not good at this game.

Craig asked : When did writing become important to you and who was your biggest influence?

The true answer to this question, I suspect, is one most bloggers would say: I have always written.  I have stacks of notebooks and journals, some barely written in and others quite full, of things I just needed to say at the time. I’ve written through all the phases in my life, through happiness and sadness and everything in between.

I’d have to say I draw influence from a lot of different places. With this blog, I feel very lucky that the people I’ve found have been very diverse in age group, background, and life experience and I appreciate so much getting to draw from all of that. It’s a pretty incredible gift to me to be able to see the writing of grandparents, parents, people my age, and even those just beginning adulthood converge in such a small corner of the Internet. It reminds me that we’re more the same than we’re different.

Okay, I think I’m no longer answering that question…

The Exception asked: so what adventures and creativity do you have planned next?

This is tricky for me. What adventures and creativity do I have planned in my head? Or what adventures and creativity is reality going to allow?  I wrestle with this daily, and I know the unknown and my discomfort with it is not something that’s going to go away. So! I’ll just answer it the only way I know how, and that’s a feeling. I feel like in the coming months I’ll both find a way to expand my horizons more, and in different ways, and at the same time settle in here at home in a way I haven’t before.

Does that make any sense?  As for actual plans?  Well, I get to go to the Caribbean for another couple weeks— under the guise of “helping” no less— and that’s the only thing that’s actually on the books. Otherwise, I love and am counting on the fact that anything could change at any time. Except that Caribbean part. That can stay.

Sailing somewhere off St. John, U.S.V.I. 2007

Mike asked: What kind of photo printer do you have (assuming you have one).

Hi, Mike! Mike is new, everyone. I’ll just apologize for myself now.  And, on to your question— I don’t have a photo printer. Here’s why: First, I only print about 5% (if that) of the photos I take, and it makes me feel better to leave that to professionals.  Second, if I could have the printer I really wanted, well, it would cost a lot of money and seeing as I cannot stop going to the tropics this winter, apparently I have other priorities. But! If I were recommending one, both Canon and HP have some very high-quality yet affordable in-home print set ups.

Mel Heth asked: what’s the best run you’ve ever been on?

Oh, man, that’s a hard one. I have run in some great places, that’s for sure. I guess what I always come back to when thinking of what makes a run great is the feeling. There was one early morning run here at home a few years ago wherein I just felt awesome. It was at the Garden of the Gods and I ran with a group starting at about 6:00 in the morning. The hills there are brutal, and we ran about 11 miles total, which meant snaking through the entire park, up and down, for a couple hours. I was sweating and tired but at the same time felt unstoppable.  Any run where it’s warm weather (running in the cold is NOT for me) and I can sweat and feel the sun and yet still feel strong is special to me.  And, well, good scenery doesn’t hurt, either.

Garden of the Gods, 2007

Finally, Jacinta asks me to: Share a secret wish you might like to send out to the universe.

Oh, boy… is that the kind of question that baits me. Or tempts fate. Or something. But I guess that’s what they’re meant for, isn’t it?

Throughout the last few months, I’ve had a lot of time to think. Good or bad, a lot of that thinking has brought me back to myself. What should I be doing? What am I good at? Where can I be used?  The answer I’ve come back to over and over again is that I’m good at being there for other people. Not so much taking care of people, although that’s part of it, but helping. Whether it be advocating, listening, or just plain helping, that’s what I’m good at. I’ve started and completed some pretty in-depth volunteer training in the last couple months (which I’ll talk about more in another post) and that’s helped me confirm that not only do I like doing things that help other people, I am good at it.

So I guess the secret I’d like the Universe to take hold of is not so much a secret as a request to be shown how to do these things better, and how to simultaneously have the means to live come along with it.

In the meantime, I’m all for throwing things out there. And praying. And planning. And finger-crossing. I practice all varieties of hope, that’s for sure.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, everyone!  I don’t take lightly the little community I have around me here. I never, ever do. I think if you do something in your life that’s public, no matter what that thing is, no matter if your audience is ten or a million, you have an obligation to be grateful and to make at least part of the work about that audience. I always remember that, and I am very, very grateful.

And you’re right, LiLu, Phoenix from the ashes. In more ways than one.