Often in the last few months, people have asked me why I still have a blog. Honestly, it’s been a question on my mind, too. At the end of the day, I always decide it’s still something I want in my life, but it’s hard to explain that to other people. I don’t seem to have much to say, and not nearly as frequently as I used to. Life is fine, good even, but only in the most boring of ways. And, at thirty, five years after I started this blog, I feel like a different person. Not a new person, just a person who doesn’t have a need to share like I used to. How many times could I write about the same things? Nothing is new.
Since I quit my job last November, nearly nine whole months ago, I feel as though I’ve gone through every emotional stage a voluntarily unemployed to mostly unemployed to temporarily employed to questionably employed person can go through. I have felt great, panicked, hopeful, panicked, optimistic, panicked, depressed, and finally sort of settled. Most days I am not sure if that settled feeling comes from acceptance or just plain being tired of feeling so much. We’ve all exhausted our brains wondering and worrying about a situation put in front of us, right? Try exhausting your brain when there’s absolutely nothing in front of you. It becomes pointless in ways you never knew were possible before.
And boring. Really, really boring.
So sometimes I do wonder why I keep this site. It could fade away, sort of like many other things have in the last year, and life would go on. But that, right there, is sort of the point. Life would go on. My life, yes, but also the lives of everyone I get to keep up with here. People, real people. Real friends. Friends who take me seriously and genuinely care and write words that tell me so. Some I have hugged in person, and some I still have not yet. When I started writing blog posts five years ago, I didn’t even consider that possibility. I didn’t consider there was this whole community of people out there who literally would help me through some of the hardest times of my adult life. I didn’t consider there were people out there that would be so openly, genuinely willing to share in the joy in my life.
And while there were a lot of blogs then, there are so very many now. So many more than I’ll ever know, than I’ll ever see. I wonder what those people who start blogs now are thinking? I wonder if they’re actually shooting for something that just came to me by complete surprise? I wonder if they’ll ever know how cool it is to look back on five years of writing and see some of the very same names today that you saw in that very first year?
It has been such an unexpected but treasured privilege to share here, and that is not something I’m ready to give up right now. Not until I get to live next door to every last one of you or, at the very least, hug you.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m saving a hug for you, too.
I once got a sweaty hug and photo in passing whilst you were running a marathon. It was GLORIOUS. But I demand more. I am seriously planning me a CO visit one of these months. No joke.
The blogging community really is amazing, isn’t it? I’m meeting up with Sizzle and Mr. Darcy this coming Thursday night because I’ll be in her city! It’s really cool to suddenly have friends all over the country. And you’re right – the support is astounding. Sometimes I feel like my blogging friends are more tuned into my life than real friends!
I do hope you will continue this site for a long, long time. I love reading your posts, adore your photography, and always benefit from a good running tip!
it’s been such a privelage knowing YOU all these years, missy! i cannot wait to give you a humungo hug in just a few short months.
As usual, you have managed to capture the essence of what I have been feeling about the same topic, and put it so much more eloquently, so much more thoughtfully.
Where’s my hug, dammit?
I can’t imagine opening up my reader to find you not there for a definite “not coming back” time period. You were one of the first blogs I read and, actually, are the only one I have stayed with from the beginning. I sometimes feel like I am reading things that I wish I would have known or thought about at your age – and sometimes I feel as if I am reading my own thoughts from ten years ago.. and sometimes you capture my thoughts better than I could.
I just returned from the Keys – and found myself thinking about the islands… and your pictures… You have shared a world that was quite foreign to me both in some of your posts and in your pictures. Thank you!!
Definitely a hug!
I feel similarly…sometimes I wonder why I keep blogging when my life seems too hectic or mundane or I’ve processed it all before so who wants to hear it again? But I would miss the community I’ve found.
I’m so boring! You have so much to offer and we totally will have to have a HUG in St. John or Nashville or CO or somewhere. No matter what I hope we will stay in touch if one of us leaves this world.
I’m still planning on being in DC for the long weekend, definitley a hug waiting there for you if you can make it!
As always, love your posts and your blog.
Hope to meet you ‘in person’ soon.
xx
I’m really behind in a lot of things…and I was home last night and clicked on my blog then went to yours because of all that I used to read regularly, you’re one I’ve always enjoyed reading and felt a kindred spirit to (maybe it’s the love of beach and my jealousy of your trips and knowing people in the islands…I should update my blog with a pic of my trip last spring). I haven’t really made the time to read things and keep up like I should and I haven’t necessarily completely abandoned my blog, but it definitely is on it’s last leg…maybe I’ll catch it up one day. Anyway, just wanted to drop a quick line and say hi and let you know even if it has been a while. I do think of you and wonder how things are!