Ironically, these past few days have been the first in a while that I haven’t wanted to float away. Things are good, and though they never really got bad, it would have been hard to convince my mind of that. It was an unpredictable slump, one I didn’t even know I was in until I was in it.

It seemed like everything I wanted to be opposed what actually was. I wanted to feel happy, I felt sad. I wanted to feel satisfied, I felt frustrated and angry. I wanted to feel light, I felt heavy. I felt like I was just above, watching my life from the outside, and unable to act.

Nothing was falling into place, and before I realized it, I was letting everything slip. I think I spent the entire month of August wrestling between being rebellious and not caring and simultaneously beating myself up for doing just that.

But now, for whatever reason, I feel better. I’ve started to care again, to not only feel the need to feel better, but to also feel that I have the ability to do it.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this, except to say that this phase, or whatever it’ll look like in hindsight, seems to have passed. And I don’t feel like floating away any more. Which is probably good, because that should limit more random posts wherein I attempt to distract with photos.

So, for what it’s worth, bring on September. Yee ha! And giddy up. And whatever else might keep this state of mind around.

Being that it was such a fun week looking back at memories and times gone by, I thought it might be a good idea to remind myself to look forward, too. What I did when I was younger, the choices I made, or the things that happened to me all seem relatively tame. Especially when I think about how much worse it could have been, or, more importantly, when I think of the times I assumed someone else’s experience was better or meant more than mine only to grow up and learn that, no, that wasn’t really true at all.

And I’m not sure if that’s supposed to make me feel lucky or not, but it does. Not lucky in that it really wasn’t that bad, just lucky in realizing it. Which is probably one of the reasons I also feel really lucky to be able to look forward to what is yet to come, like the weekend.

It is, afterall, football season and I don’t know about you but there’s something really reassuring about that. And I don’t really think you even have to like football to be able to see this, but it really helps. It is that time of year again and though we are sure to hear me sobbing over lost summer days soon enough, thinking about that now is not an option. Not when there’s Big 10 and Big 12 and SEC action to be had.

So now that I’ve looked back enough for the moment, not cried over anything, and shared it with anyone who happened to stop by, we can move forward. It’s important to move the ball forward, right?

Have a good holiday weekend (in the U.S. and Canada (thanks, Bridget)), everyone. And for your sake, I hope it includes some football. Or, you know, something else that is equally fun and exciting for you and involves sun and beer.

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Thoughts and prayers of safety to those in the path of Gustav, Hanna, or whatever else may come along this weekend. We are thinking of you!

Remember when you were a kid, and you had to sit through someone’s vacation slide show? And remember how utterly boring it was? Because who on earth had ever heard of a place called Yosemite anyway?

My uncle Joe used to do this. And it was especially torturous to my 10-year-old self because Uncle Joe is a forester. He is also WAY into bugs. This resulted in about eight hundred million pictures of leaves and trees and beetles and moss. MOSS!

I always thought to myself: I am never going to put anyone through that. Nope. Never. Not going to do it.

And then I discovered the islands. And you can bet Uncle Joe’s slides never ended with a fun frozen drink.

Like how I spared the details?

Happy Friday, everyone.

It was a Monday night, I think, and we’d spent the afternoon at the beach followed by dollar drinks at happy hour. We followed that with seafood nachos during which the woman at the next table was “taking pictures for her MySpace” and letting us all know. So, if you see me on the MySpace page of a girl from Tennessee and I’m either eating nachos or helping myself to water behind the bar (gotta love the bartenders down there) or generally acting silly, you’ll know this was the night I referred to as The Night I Pretended I Was Still In College. All the dumb and carefree of twenty-one, but with more finances.

Around 9:00 we were ready to head back to the house. And I know 9:00 p.m. sounds early, but you have to consider that when happy hour starts at 3:00, you’ve been in the sun all day, and the fact that the entire island all but goes dark by 10:00, 9:00 is a perfectly acceptable time to head to your bed and, well, do whatever. But it’s generally safe to say that the wee hours of the morning are pretty quiet on small Caribbean islands. So we paid our bill and headed out.

“Wait! The bioluminescence!”

My friend shouted this, without reserve, in the middle of the road on a Monday night. And I’ll tell you right now that my first thought was “great, we’re going to be hauling someone up the stairs tonight” because the word bioluminescence is not just something that flies out of your mouth after a day like that. Too many syllables, for one thing. It took me a minute to realize that yes, I had actually heard this word before.

“We have to go see it! We may never see it again.”

Arm? Twisted. Which is a really tough thing to do when I’m down there, you know. I’m pretty much the most flexible, opportunistic version of myself once I get some salt water air in my lungs and sand between my toes. So off we went to the bay where we were most likely to see bioluminescence. And for those that don’t know what I’m talking about, luckily for all of us Wikipedia does. And here are a couple other sites that will help illustrate it, too. Basically, what we were about to see were tiny organisms in the water that, when agitated, give off a very noticeable glow.

So we pull up to the beach and park and though I’ve never once felt uneasy or afraid on this island, part of me could not get over how dark it was. And the sky down there, the stars, oh my. It is dark, dark, dark except the stars. But that’s above. In front of you, and on the ground beneath you there is nothing but pitch black. Which is actually the best way to step into the water and witness an immediate glow around your foot. Then both of your feet. Then your legs. Then the rest of you as you slide your way through the dark waters of the ocean and watch your every move appear in the water in a bright, green glow.

Oh. My. Heck.

I was amazed instantly. I moved through the water in a feeling of pure and utter astonishment like I haven’t felt in… I don’t know how long. I’m sure if someone would have taken a picture of me in those moments my jaw would have been dropped and my eyes wide. My friends and I splashed through the water, running backward to watch the glowing trail we’d leave in our wake. We laughed and yelled and I felt like I was a kid again. While it rarely takes much to amuse me, it takes a lot to amaze me. I was amazed.

We must have played in that water, like a bunch of bumbling idiots, for an hour. I just couldn’t get over it, and I didn’t want to. It was living, touchable proof of how those islands and, well, life continue to impress me. Though I’d spent the earlier part of that Monday evening pretending I was still in college, I went ahead and retitled this night as The Night of the Bioluminescence. If you ever get the chance to see it, or really just find yourself with any chance to genuinely feel like you’re ten-years-old again, DO IT.